dog
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“Annie, where are you?” I call out as I walk through the house. I find her sitting inside a huge shipping box stuffed with pillows. “What are you doing?!” I ask with amusement.She answers me, “Nothing.” Nothing… that beguiling state of being that seems like it should be relaxing and peaceful, But for a person…
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Apparently, the non-Parkinson’s part of my brain didn’t get the notice that the Parkinson’s part of my brain isn’t exactly reliable these days. Ideas still pop up before I can stop them—like a reflex, or maybe like a dog spotting a squirrel. The problem is, once I throw out an idea, people assume I’m signing…
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The day before yesterday, December 2, would have been my dog Daisy’s 18th birthday. Sadly, she passed away last year, just one day after her 17th birthday—at 3 a.m. on December 4. I had braced myself for a wave of sadness on her birthday. While I did shed some tears, I found myself feeling mostly…
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But life, as Benny reminded me with a blank document titled “New Call Book,” doesn’t follow a script. He told me, “Your future isn’t written, and you can’t plan what’s next in a constantly changing life.” Annie concluded, “It’s back to Daisy’s advice. You should live the way Tena is discovering how to live. By…
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It’s 6:30 PM, there’s a soft knock at my bedroom door, and I see Annie cautiously peering in. She asks if I was able to rest, and I admit that I only managed a little, with too much on my mind. Annie gently reminds me of the 7 PM meeting Benny called. Feeling overwhelmed, I…
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It’s a sunny day and the air is so light and refreshing. I can feel it through the slightly rolled down windows as we cruise down the road headed for home. I’m enjoying the drive because the road is deserted, quiet, and none of my passengers are demanding anything from me.
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I need to let go and live one moment at a time, but Parkinson’s Disease (PD) makes that difficult. My interactions with family, friends, and strangers remind me daily of my diminishing emotional filters.
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In the rapture of this moment, I felt Daisy’s thoughts, straight from her heart. She let me know that she was no longer in pain and that she was very peaceful and happy. She also told me that she was there because she had been keeping an eye on me since she died. She wanted…
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Today’s blog post is a Parkinson’s public service announcement. I am really dragging myself through the hours of the past three days of unprecedented triple digit heat where I live. I’m trying to stay hydrated and am not exerting myself but it’s a big, scary struggle to manage how the heat is affecting me. This…
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It’s a fast and rickety wooden roller coaster ride of emotions, too. There are days when it feels like I am only an observer watching my mental control, ability to speak sensibly, and my general health slip away. This crisis of my body and mind changing due to PD is stealthy, treacherous and can be…
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Her absence is so deafening to me. It’s unbearable at times. There are no sounds of her sighing in her sleep, and shaking her head so that her ears make a flapping sound. No sound of her little feet creaking the wooden floor as she walked up and down the hallways. No clickety-clack of the…
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I started thinking about what I would write for this reflection as soon as I turned in my last piece of writing. But whatever thoughts or ideas I had flew out of my mind when my dog, Daisy, died suddenly in the early morning hours of December 4. So this is not a reflection of…
I have Parkinson's. Parkinson's doesn't have me! 