My second hero’s journey continues.

I’m nearing the entrance of that damned cave again. I’m bracing myself, expecting that I’ll be met inside by my wayward emotions:  Worrisome Wanda, Doubtful Dennis, Indecisive Izzy, I’m Too Tired Tucker, Grieving Gertrude, Sad Sammy, and Lonely Louise. I really do not want to deal with them right now. Anxiety and Being Overwhelmed sitting on my brain is plenty of emotion to try to handle.

I stop at the proscenium and peer into the cave. It’s quiet. I walk in and am presently drawn to following a circle of light reflected on the ceiling.  I walk around looking for the source of the light. The ground is soft and dry, like a layer of fine sand. I hear a break in the silence. A dripping sound. I follow the sound and also find the source of light. There is a hole in the ceiling of the cave. The quality of the light is soft white and gray. It gently shines down on a small, shallow pool of water, about 8-10’ diameter, directly underneath the hole. It’s a reflection from this pool  that I saw when I entered. There is a single, very large stalactite hanging over one end of the pool. It is slowly dripping water into the pool. Drip……drip……drip. This is the only sound in the cave. I notice that some of the beams of light have sparkles in them. They are floating joyfully, down, sideways, twirling, up and down again. I watch a cluster of these sparkles dance their way down to the opposite side of the water pool. Sitting in the beam of light and sparkles, next to the pool, is Daisy, my dear departed dog. She looks so happy and peaceful. I can’t believe what I am seeing! I cry and rush to her. Falling to my knees I wrap my arms around her for some big warm and fluffy hugs.

After a solid minute of hugging, I pull my arms back and set them in my lap as I sit kneeling in front of Daisy. I wipe away my tears and take a deep breath to calm my excitement at seeing her. I ask, “Daisy, how did you get here? Why are you here?” Daisy puts her front right paw on my knee, then tips her head down to indicate she wants me to tip my head down also so we can touch foreheads. As we always did whenever I left the house, when we said goodnight, and it was the last thing we did as she passed. She also made low rumbling noises. Like a mother dog to her pup.  I call them cuddle noises. I put my forehead to hers and listened to her gentle cuddle noises. 

In the rapture of this moment, I felt Daisy’s thoughts, straight from her heart. She let me know that she was no longer in pain and that she was very peaceful and happy. She also told me that she was there because she had been keeping an eye on me since she died. She wanted to make sure I would be okay. She saw that I was lonely, sad, grieving, anxious and overwhelmed.

She told me that she would be sending another dog to take away my loneliness. She also relayed that this other dog would really need me because she has had a hard life. That I would rescue the new dog, and she would rescue me back. So Daisy wanted me to know that all I really needed to do to stop feeling so anxious and overwhelmed is to listen and watch and be there for the new dog. She would need me to sit with her. A lot! “So I’m supposed to sit and pet the warm dog in my lap and let all the anxiety and doom in my mind just slough off of me?” I asked. “Yes”, Daisy tells me. “That’s it. Just Let go. “What about my other emotions?” I wondered. Daisy tells me, “They will find their place just like Apathetic Annie.” 

I shake my head side to side and smile in astonishment at this wisdom. I am so happy to have this time with Daisy! I reach out to pet Daisy from the top of her head and down her back, then I give her a little scratch under her chin as I always used to do. She briefly tilts her head back in delight and smiles at me. Then she places her paw on my leg and invites me to touch foreheads again. Daisy tells me, “I must leave you now”.  In that moment my tears flowed again, but softer. Daisy continues, “But my love for you will always be with you and I know how much you love me.” She starts fading away, turning into the very same sparkles of light that brought her to visit me. As she departs, she tells me, “You’ll recognize the new dog  by the collar she’ll be wearing. It will have daisies on it.”  I let out a big sigh and stopped crying. I stand up and look around me. The light entering the cave is not as bright, but still glows gently. I hear the slow drips of water again. I take one last look at where Daisy sat then turn around and find my way back to the cave entrance. 

This was not what I expected at all when I entered this cave. Not one of my pesky gang of emotions in sight! Where are they? What are they up to? No matter, I feel like I’ve been given a respite. I’ve been washed with calmness and serenity for the time being. Thank you, Daisy.