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New Year’s Day is supposed to feel like a beginning.January 1 arrives with confetti and expectations—a collective agreement that we get to start over. My body did not get the memo. Parkinson’s doesn’t pause for fireworks or make resolutions at midnight. It doesn’t care what year it is. It measures time differently—by symptoms, by medication…
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Everyone wants a picture-perfect Hallmark movie Christmas, right? The house decorated inside and out, ready to win the neighborhood light-display prize. Right?But what we conveniently forget are the parts of the movie where the main couple has a dramatic breakup, or Grandma gets rushed to the hospital because she’s winded and everyone fears her heart…
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Every morning, I face my own private Olympic event: getting dressed. Take compression socks, for example. Once upon a time, I could just stand, bend, and slip them on. Now, thanks to Parkinson’s and balance issues, that’s no longer the case. Instead, I lay on my back, curled up like a rollie pollie, wrestling with…
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There’s nothing like a late-night visit to the ER to make you realize you’ve accumulated quite an extensive inventory of ailments, conditions, and diseases. This time, I went because of a surprise anaphylactic reaction to Penicillin VK. It had been prescribed to knock out whatever was causing my constant sore throat, cough, and laryngitis. I’d…
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The people in my life are my best medicine, and they are the meaning I can measure my life by.
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If you live with Parkinson’s, please hear me: do not take Benadryl.A few days ago, I had a massive, all-over itchiness that drove me crazy. Triple-digit heat had left me with a case of prickly heat, and I couldn’t stop scratching. My scalp itched so badly I tried using dandruff shampoo just for some relief.…
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They say laughter is the best medicine—and for the most part, I agree. But like many things in life with Parkinson’s, even something as joyful as laughter can become… complicated. You see, for me, laughter doesn’t always feel like a gentle release. Sometimes it’s more like a rollercoaster that I didn’t mean to get on.…
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We didn’t just grow up together; we were in sync. Our thoughts, our games, even the way we moved through the day—it all felt like a chorus.
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So I dance. Not gracefully. Not even with confidence. But I shift my weight back and forth between two emotional poles, caught between caring too much and not caring at all. Some days, it feels like the worst of both worlds.
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Dear Friend, You didn’t ask for this. None of us did. But here you are—with a diagnosis that changes everything and nothing at once. And you told me. That matters more than I can say. I know how hard that moment can be—the words sticking in your throat, the fear of how it might land.…
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Let’s be honest: using a computer with Parkinson’s is like trying to thread a needle on a rollercoaster. With mittens on. I sit down to write a simple message and somehow end up sending a half-written sentence to my entire contact list. Because my finger twitched. Because the mouse took off like it was on…
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Parkinson’s is a real piece of work. It messes with your body in all the usual ways—tremors, rigidity, slowness, fatigue—but it also has a sneakier, more insidious talent: it steals your nouns. And I don’t mean obscure, once-a-decade trivia-night nouns. I mean everyday, embarrassingly basic words like pit. Yes, pit. I recently tried to talk…
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“Annie, where are you?” I call out as I walk through the house. I find her sitting inside a huge shipping box stuffed with pillows. “What are you doing?!” I ask with amusement.She answers me, “Nothing.” Nothing… that beguiling state of being that seems like it should be relaxing and peaceful, But for a person…
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Apparently, the non-Parkinson’s part of my brain didn’t get the notice that the Parkinson’s part of my brain isn’t exactly reliable these days. Ideas still pop up before I can stop them—like a reflex, or maybe like a dog spotting a squirrel. The problem is, once I throw out an idea, people assume I’m signing…
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We all know the phrase “pain in the ass” (or butt). It’s usually reserved for those particularly annoying situations or people who just seem to make life a little harder. Well, let me tell you, I’ve taken it to a whole new level. This isn’t just a metaphor—it’s my reality. My glutes have decided they…
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The day before yesterday, December 2, would have been my dog Daisy’s 18th birthday. Sadly, she passed away last year, just one day after her 17th birthday—at 3 a.m. on December 4. I had braced myself for a wave of sadness on her birthday. While I did shed some tears, I found myself feeling mostly…
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Thanksgiving is upon us and soon many families and friends will participate in a tradition of announcing what they are thankful for this year. But many people have a hard time with this concept because they have truly had a hard time with their lives lately. Chronic Illness is a tough thing to ignore at…
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In Fall of 2023, I was introduced to the Day One Cinema Therapy writing program (via www.yesandexercize.org). It was a lifesaver, helping me find the strength to save myself. Through the 16 weeks of the class, I focused on a Joseph Campbell-inspired Hero’s Journey to uncover hidden emotions that imprisoned me. By naming my apathy…
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Ah, Halloween. The time of year when we’re all supposed to enjoy a “little fright” — but in my case, it’s more like a mini horror marathon, and I’m front and center without any popcorn. With Parkinson’s, my nerves are already strung tighter than a spider’s web, and every “boo” or horror movie jump-scare hits…
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It’s 6:30 PM, there’s a soft knock at my bedroom door, and I see Annie cautiously peering in. She asks if I was able to rest, and I admit that I only managed a little, with too much on my mind. Annie gently reminds me of the 7 PM meeting Benny called. Feeling overwhelmed, I…
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Who am I, and when did I become this person? Did I lose a younger version of myself to become who I am now? Is the process of transitioning from child to adult like a chrysalis emerging as a beautiful butterfly? It’s a comforting metaphor, but far from realistic. No, we stumble through the teenage…
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Today’s blog post is a Parkinson’s public service announcement. I am really dragging myself through the hours of the past three days of unprecedented triple digit heat where I live. I’m trying to stay hydrated and am not exerting myself but it’s a big, scary struggle to manage how the heat is affecting me. This…
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It’s a fast and rickety wooden roller coaster ride of emotions, too. There are days when it feels like I am only an observer watching my mental control, ability to speak sensibly, and my general health slip away. This crisis of my body and mind changing due to PD is stealthy, treacherous and can be…
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Parkinson’s disease (PD) has many symptoms. Now in my sixth year of having PD I sometimes look at these symptoms as if they are milestones on a checklist.
I have Parkinson's. Parkinson's doesn't have me! 